


though i'm weak and beaten down

by caseycsd



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-06 06:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caseycsd/pseuds/caseycsd
Summary: Missing scenes of Kate and Rana throughout their relationship.





	though i'm weak and beaten down

**Author's Note:**

> (this may have some mentions of suicide in it)
> 
> follow my tumblr: chesterbenni  
> also if you can please leave a comment. it makes me more motivated i guess.

When Rana had finished work and checked her phone she felt a horrible feeling of panic come over her. Staring back at her from her phone screen were five missed calls from Kate. Just as she went to call her back she saw that she had also sent her a text. _"Won't be able to see you tonight. Staying at my dad's."_

She was slightly disappointed that she wouldn't get to see her girlfriend tonight, but she was glad that Kate was with her family. Johnny was lucky to have a daughter like Kate and she was lucky to have such a loving dad like Johnny. _  
_

_"Everything okay?"_ She texted back as she was walking back to the Nazir's. When she had finally managed to find her keys and let herself in she was surprised to see Alya on the couch, tears streaming down her face. She was about to say something when Yasmeen tilted her head towards the kitchen. Rana walked towards her, dropping her keys on the table. 

"What's happened?" She asked, glancing down at her phone and seeing her blank lock screen staring back at her. 

"Kate hasn't told you?"

"She hasn’t told me what?" 

Yasmeen seemed reluctant in saying what she was about to say. She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "It's Aidan."

"Aidan? What's happened to him?" She once again checked her phone, becoming more worried for Kate with every second that went by. "Is he hurt or something?"

"He's taken his own life. I believe Johnny found him this morning."

"I- what?"

"Kate didn't tell you?"

"No, I- um, I missed her calls today. She said she's staying with her dad." She checked her phone again, desperately hoping she had gotten a reply. Aidan? Kate, she must be- oh god. I need to go try to call her again." She took her phone and headed towards her bedroom. She tried to call Kate another few times, all ending with her hearing her voicemail message.

She decided to just text her again. _"I just heard. I'm so sorry. If you need me I'm here. I love you."_

It was later in the night when she heard her phone go off. She looked over and saw a text from Kate. 

_"I love you too."_

_-_

The next day after a busy day at work, her mind clouded with thoughts of Kate all day, she headed over to Kate's flat. She was worried that maybe Kate might not want to see her, but she put those concerns to the back of her mind. She had just lost her brother and she was going to at least try and be there for Kate.

The conversation on the doorstep was short, but it gave Rana an idea of how Kate was feeling, of how guilty she felt. She held her as she broke down, suggesting they go back upstairs when her crying had calmed a bit. She felt Kate nod against her shoulder before turning back to open the door for them. As soon as they got up Kate headed towards the couch and took a seat as Rana set down her things.

"My dad is expecting me back," she said. Rana paused, still standing at the counter and looked at her girlfriend who looked smaller than ever, intently watching her hands.

"Okay, I could walk you over if you want." Rana suggested but Kate shook her head.

"I don't want to go back to them." Rana took a seat beside her girlfriend and placed her hand on top of Kate's fidgeting ones. “I’m afraid of what I’ll say around them.” 

"Are you sure?" Kate nodded. "You should text them, so they won't be worrying." Kate nodded once again before taking her phone out.

"They'll probably get all fussy. Get worried that I'll be on my own. Probably think I'll do something stupid." 

"You won't be alone. I'll stay with you." 

"You're going to stay with me?" For a second the sadness in her eyes was overtaken by a hopeful look.

"Well, yeah. If you want." 

"Of course I want you to stay." She leaned in and kissed Rana. "Thank you." She added.

"Anything for you, Kate." She smiled before standing up. "I'm going to go get some stuff, I'll be back as soon as possible. Okay?" Kate nodded and Rana leaned down and kissed her forehead before leaving.

- 

After a quick stop at the Nazir's to pack a bag and a stop at Speed Daal to tell Zeedan that she wouldn't be able to help him later, she arrived back to the flat to find Kate fast asleep on the couch. She smiled softly at her sleeping girlfriend and went over and brushed some hair out of her face. She leaned down and kissed her forehead before putting her bag in Kate's room. When she came back out she saw Kate sitting up on the couch, tiredly rubbing her eyes.

"Hey," Rana said, sitting beside her tired girlfriend. "Did you sleep at all last night?" 

Kate cuddled close to Rana, her face in the crook of her neck. She shook her head. Rana looked down at Kate's face and saw that her eyes were drooping closed. "Get some sleep now then, babe. If you can."

"You won't leave?" Rana kissed her forehead.

"No. I promise you, I won't."

-

They were both rudely awoken by the sound of a door slamming closed. Alya had come home. 

"Why are you here?" She looked at them both with a look of disdain on her face. Kate sleepily rose her head up from Rana. She looked confused for a second on what was happening before it set in.

"Ugh. Do one, Alya." She said before laying her head back down on Rana's shoulder. "Also, Rana is going to be staying here, with me, for a while."

"What? So I've got to live with the woman who ruined my brother's life now." 

"Well, be thankful that your brother still has a life, eh? Because some of us just aren't that lucky." Kate said, climbing off the couch and heading towards her room. Both Rana and Alya were shocked at Kate's little outburst. Rana watched as she closed her bedroom door behind her before going to stand in front of Alya. 

"I know it's not ideal, but she needs me right now." 

"I know. I don't like it, but I know what loss is like and she needs all the people she can get." Alya said, grabbing her bag off the counter before turning towards the door. "Look out for her. She has quite a temper does Kate, and losing someone so suddenly can do horrible things to you." And she left. Rana stood at the counter before deciding to go check on Kate.

She opened the door to her room and saw her sitting on the end of her bed, her head in her hands. She looked up when Rana came in, tears streaming down her beautiful face. Rana sat beside her and pulled her close, not saying anything, waiting to see if Kate wanted to talk. It was a few minutes later that Rana heard her speak.

"I'm so mad at him right now." She said, her voice teary. "It's not fair that he's done this to us. To me." She pulled away from Rana to look at her. "He promised to always keep me safe, to never leave me. He broke his promise, Rana. I don't think I can forgive him for that." She smiled sadly. "I love him so much." She started crying again and Rana pulled her closer than ever.

"I know you do. I know."

A peaceful silence had overcome the room, only broken occasionally by Kate's sniffles. Rana's back was against the headboard, with Kate's head in her lap. Rana's shoes kicked off at the end of the bed. 

"It's okay to be mad at him, isn't it? I'm not a bad person for being angry with him, am I?" Her voice sounded smaller, more vulnerable than Rana had ever heard before. Her fingers stilled from running through Kate's hair.

"Kate, I promise that whatever you are feeling right now is okay. It's normal and it doesn't make you a bad person at all." She gave her a reassuring smile. "How about we go for a walk, yeah? Get some food into you." Kate looked as if she was about to say no before changing her mind and nodding.

-

They were walking past Victoria Court after Rana had practically forced Kate to eat something, even if it was just a bun from Costa when Michelle came out. "Kate!"

She took a deep breath and turned around to face her older cousin. Michelle pulled her into a hug and Rana noticed Kate melt into her before pulling away. "Hey."

"How have you been?" Michelle asked, before making a face, realizing it was a stupid question.

"Never been better. What about you? How's your life? Any of your cousins killed themselves recently?" Michelle worriedly glanced at Rana. Rana squeezed Kate's hand and saw her glance over at her before sighing. "Sorry."

"It's okay." There was a slightly awkward silence before Kate started walking towards her flat, leaving Rana behind. She started to follow Kate back but Michelle caught her arm. "Take care of her, yeah?"

"I will." She smiled before turning, having to jog slightly to catch up with Kate. 

When they got into the flat they settled down in Kate's room once again, both having gotten changed into pajamas for the night. Kate had asked if they could watch a movie, so she was scrolling through Netflix on her laptop. "You know, this will be our first night together." She said distractedly, focused on something bigger than what movie they were going to watch. 

"Yeah. It will." Kate didn't say anything else on the subject and finally decided on a movie and cuddled close to Rana. They watched the movie in silence, Kate drifting in and out of sleep before losing her battle and keeping her eyes closed. After the film had finished Rana checked to see if Kate was fully asleep before moving her laptop to the bedside table. She kissed Kate's forehead and pulled the duvet closer to them both before drifting into a sleep of her own, holding the woman she loves for the first time.

-

Rana woke early the next morning, glad to see Kate was still fast asleep beside her. It was just past nine and Kate's arm was wrapped tightly around her middle, her head in the crook of Rana's neck. It was ten or so minutes later when Kate began to stir. Her hand came from around Rana's stomach to brush the hair from her eyes. 

"This is nice. Waking up with you." Were the first words Kate said. And it was nice waking up together but it was hard not to think of what was happening outside these four walls. 

"It is, isn't it?" Kate looked as if she was about to say something more but before she could her phone went off on the bedside table. She sighed and reached over Rana to grab it.

"It's Carla. She said it's important and that I need to go to my dad's around lunch time." She threw her phone down the end of the bed and turned over on her back. "That's just great isn't it. Family time as an incomplete family." Kate got out of bed before Rana could say any more. "Want a brew?" Rana nodded at Kate and watched as she put her dressing gown on. 

They were both sat at the kitchen table, eating their breakfast in a comfortable silence when Alya came out from her room. They all looked at each other, aware of how awkward the situation was before Alya made a move towards the door. 

After she had left, Kate turned back to face Rana. "Well, that was awkward." She said with a mouthful of toast. She swallowed her breakfast before speaking her next sentence. "So," she looked down at the wood of the table, "will you come with me? To my dad's?" 

Rana looked up, shocked. "Isn't it a private family thing?" 

"Please, Rana. I don't know what I'll say or do when I'm around them all. You calm me down." Her eyes had taken on a pleading look. She reached out and covered Rana's hand with her own. "Please?" 

"Okay."


End file.
